Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bottomshelf Beer Reviews

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I like to drink, a lot.  I’ll drink just about anything that gets you drunk, but my drink of choice is American Beer.

About 7 years ago
Since I was about 17 to the present I have never gone more than a week without a beer.  I rarely get drunk anymore (takes too long) but I love to drink.  Now, I like a tasty Guinness as much as the next man.  My favorite beer is the Dog Fish Head 60 minute IPA, but I’m no snob.  Anyway, who’s got that kind of money?  Shelling out 10 bucks a six pack?  You can only have one beer a day at that price.  I like beer as much as anyone, probably more than just about everyone.  To that end I drink a lot of American beer.
24 cans, 24 years.  My 24th birthday.
Sonny Crockett
 If you look around on the web you’ll find lots of websites reviewing, wine, scotch, and fancy pants beers.  You don’t find a lot of reviews of American macrobrews: Budweiser, Coors Light, Blatz, Special Export, or Schlitz.  The ones that you do find on websites like typically break down like this:

“Pours out a crystal-clear golden macro lager yellow - you know, the classic piss beer color. Actually has some head retention on the top, very effervescent with lots of active carbonation… Smell is so clean it reminds me of fabric softener, and I swear I am get a floral whiffs. That smell has to be coming from somewhere else. Anyway, smells interesting for such a beer. Taste is somewhat clear and crisp too, and dry…I always have wondered, why in the world would anyone kreusen an adjunct lager? Why polish a turd”? –Star80 review of Old Style on

A few years ago, double fisting.
Keep in mind the guy gave the beer a B- so presumably he likes Old Style.  I mean, what the fuck?  The High Life Guy would flip his lid if he heard shit like that.  I decided to add a new feature to my blog and start reviewing American beers.  This includes just about everything that costs about as much as a case of Bud or less. The bottom shelf is usually where I buy my beer from, so special attention will be paid to the extremely cheap beers.  30 packs and malt liquor will be included, and paid special attention to.  I won’t like everything, in fact I’ll hate a good deal of what I end up drinking but that’s the way it goes sometimes.  You gotta suffer for your art.
Suffering for art, or just drunk?

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