|If schoolgirls dressed like this I would still be in High School|
Every year Rollingstone used to ask celebrities their advice for that year’s graduating class. I don’t know if they still do, but I’ve been doing this for the last three years and I thought I’d keep up on the tradition.
Keep in Touch
|K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider|
Invariably, every year of high school someone I wasn’t very good friends with would write their phone number in my yearbook followed by a note to “K.I.T” (keep in touch.) I always thought it would have been funny to call them up a couple weeks later and awkwardly check in, just ring them up and tell them that my summer job bagging groceries was going “swimmingly.” Assuming we didn’t have much to talk about I would have then repeated the process every couple weeks for the rest of the summer. Basically, I’m saying you should do what I never did. I will admit it would probably be a lot funnier if I did it now, 13 years later, “Hi Mrs. Johanson, is Stacy there? Who am I? This is Danny from sophomore English. I’m calling because Stacy asked me, nay, COMMANDED me to keep in touch. I’m kind of surprised she didn’t tell you- Oh...she’s dead?”
It’s really hard to quit once you start, and cigarettes are really fucking bad for you. Under normal circumstances I would never recommend anyone start, but lots of people are miserable their whole lives. More to the point lots of people seem strangely okay with their constant state of unending Hell on Earth. If that describes you, and if you're okay with that, you might want to consider smoking three packs a day and having a grabber at the age of 50. Aside from the gift of a slow suicide, smoking also makes you feel pretty good. So there’s that.
If a relationship sucks, cash your chips and go home; maybe powerwatch Doctor Who or Battlestar Galactica? I don’t know, just get the hell out of there. It won’t get better. If the person you’re with is great except for one giant flaw you can’t get past I guarantee you there is someone else out there who’s just as great, but isn’t also a compulsive liar, pyromaniac, teenage-vampire, or what have you. Even if the flaw isn’t that big a deal or even if you're pretty positive it's just a figment of your imagination I’d still suggest you cut and run. There’s a 50% chance you’re actually the crazy one. Why take someone else down with you?
Van Halen & Guns N’ Roses are NOT Hair Bands