|What a country!|
Freedom isn’t free. The heaviest price for our freedom is paid by soldiers on the battlefield, but the most common price is probably abject stupidity, more accurately dealing with stupidity. If Obama can run for President so can David Duke, and the dumbest people in the world will fill up the comments section of a New York Times article about the subject. Alcohol isn’t any freer than freedom itself; fortunately Freedom Salute only costs a little over $4 at the local Walgreens.
|FUN FACTS: in the U. S. women couldn't vote until 1920 and minorities were legally bared from voting in some states as late as 1965. Actually come to think of it, those facts aren't very fun at all.|
As I alluded to in the introduction, freedom has a price. I am eternally thankful for those who pay it. I’ve always been a big supporter of our Nation’s armed forces, and for their part Freedom Salute boasts that they donate a minimum of $25,000 dollars annually to Operation Homefront. It sounds impressive until you consider the 8,000+ Walgreens stores selling four tallboys for $4 and some change. By my math Walgreens would be coming out ahead even if they only sold one 4-pack per store per year. Personally, I always throw in a few bucks when they ask me to make a donation at Petsmart, but I don’t make a big deal out of it. Honesty, I always feel kind of embarrassed when the lesbian behind the counter thanks me for my meager $2 donation. Still, there’s worse ways for Freedom Salute to spend the money, after all $25,000 can buy a lot of cocaine, er…some cocaine. I don’t do drugs, but it sounds like a lot.
Freedom Salute has that cheap rotten apple flavor, which I find hard to describe to people without beers like Camo Black Exxxtra or Gameday Ice in their taste lexicon. I mean, I think I do a pretty good job describing it, but it’s like describing an orgasm to someone that’s never had one, only the opposite of that. Gross sour apple is kind of its own branch on bottomshelf beer tree, and if you’ve never had any of its gut wrenching fruit you should consider yourself lucky. Freedom Salute is probably one of the better examples of the genre, but that’s kind of like calling the principle from Ferris Bueller my second favorite child pornographer (after Gary Glitter.) If you think it’s just a matter of personal preference and I’m being an asshole, just try some for yourself. I fucking double dare you.
In high school I had to write an essay on what freedom meant to me. I got a C, mostly because I just kind of described the plot of First Blood Part II. As for what Freedom Salute means to me, I’d say D to D minus. They may take our lives but they’ll never take our Freedom Salute, unless they ask for it in which case I’ll give it away for free..er…for freedom!
|They drew first bloood...not me.|